Relational Approach to Behaviour

We recognise and work to ensure that everyone within our school community feels safe and cared for and enjoys a sense of belonging. We recognise our responsibility in developing both relationships and the sense of belonging for all our children. We know children achieve well and enjoy their learning when relationships are at the centre of school life. We continuously strive to create an atmosphere and environment where everyone feels valued, where the life chances of our children are improved, and they take with them when they leave us the ability to form meaningful and caring relationships into adult life.

Our relational approach draws on theory and research from the fields of Neuroscience, Attachment, Trauma, Adverse Childhood Experience, Intersubjectivity and Restorative Approaches.

Libra is invested in supporting the very best possible relational health between;

Parent / Carer and child
Child and child
Child and school adults
Parent / Carer and school adults
School adults
School adults and senior leaders
School adults and external agencies.

Our relational approach is based on the following values and beliefs:
• An ethos based around inclusive and compassionate principles is beneficial to the well-being of all children.
• All children wish to belong, achieve and contribute to their school, family and community. Child centred approaches, where their voices are central and where plans utilise their strengths, resources and qualities are integral to success.
• High levels of nurture and empathy, with containment and structure, support children to feel safe. Children need clear boundaries, predictable routines, expectations and regulated responses to behaviour.
• Natural consequences that can follow certain behaviours should be made explicit, without the need to enforce sanctions that can shame and ostracize children from their peers, school community and family, leading to potentially more negative behaviour. Responses to behaviour should ensure that children feel safe and that all needs are met.
• Behaviour is often a form of communication and the expression of underlying needs. It is not possible to support a child’s behaviour without addressing these needs.
• Children need personalised responses to supporting their personal development and well-being. Consistency does not mean always responding in the same way to each child or behaviour, it means responding in a way which is consistent to our values and beliefs. Whilst each individual child benefits from a consistent approach, being consistent and fair is not about everyone getting the same, but everyone getting what they need.
• Relational, regulatory and restorative approaches are more effective in supporting the development of internal control and regulation. Not all behaviours are a matter of choice and therefore external control will not be effective in changing behaviour.
• Punitive approaches and exclusion may re-traumatise children and further embed the behaviours causing concern. Theory and research on attachment, neuroscience and adverse childhood experiences advocate the use of relational and restorative approaches which is why we are a non-excluding school.

Developing Relationships – this involves building relationships through protection, connection, understanding and care. Supporting inclusion by facilitating access to learning, ensuring social inclusion and developing individual skills and setting and maintaining boundaries with empathy by reaching agreements and building a shared understanding of expectations and establishing clear processes for resolving difficulties

Responding and Calming – using relational skills to keep things calm, using co-regulation skills to regulate strong emotions and developing skills and plans to manage crisis. The art and skill of working with children particularly those with trauma related needs lies in the use of everyday interactions which actively maintain relationships in the classroom and promote a calm, harmonious and supportive learning environment. It is normal for children of all ages to be playful, challenge authority (to mess about) and to test boundaries. All our children will at some point overstep a boundary and will need reminding about agreements and expectations. Our relationships, and the relational skills we utilise are our first port of call at these times. Skilled interactions can successfully resolve low level disruption without the need to escalate. Every child will face challenges and at times experience strong emotions which block their access to learning and good social interaction. Catching these emotions and regulating the child so that these emotions do not become overwhelming is integral to keeping the child and classroom calm. Behaviour which impacts on the child, another child’s, or our own safety is managed as part of our relational support plans and agreements. How we respond to times of challenge is recorded in our relational support plans and agreements in a clear and coordinated way and communicated to all school adults to ensure safety for everyone and includes how school adults should attempt to de-escalate and co-regulate at times of dysregulation.

Repairing and Restoring – using restorative conversations is part of our daily interactions to support a harmonious environment, facilitating restorative encounters to resolve conflict and harm and to support change. Sometimes things go wrong. Even with strong relationships, clear boundaries and good co-regulation there will still be times when conflict emerges or harm is caused. The demands of school life and the nature of our children’s needs means that our children will need support from school adults to repair and restore relationships and learn from the mistakes made. The majority of our children have attachment insecurities; therefore, the repairing of relationships is a vital piece of work. It provides a learning experience which has the power to challenge their perception that relationships do not last or are not worth having, and that they are not worthy or deserving of lasting relationships themselves. When supporting this learning process in the aftermath of a challenging event, children need the security of school adult relationships in order to access the learning needed to repair harm and be supported to change. They need our empathy, our understanding and our support in order to stay regulated whilst having such challenging conversations. This is very skilled relational work, and we continuously strive to push the boundaries of our school adults training to upskill our school adults further.